[68] During the Start-of-Term Feast, Albus Dumbledore informed the students that Filch had asked him to remind the them that there was a blanket ban on any joke items bought at Fred and George Weasley's shop, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. [57], In the morning before the first school trip to Hogsmeade of the school year, Filch matched the names of those visiting the village to the long list of students who had permission from their parents or guardian to do so. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage, Rape/Non-Con, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (3), Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, wait no there really isn't smut wth did I just write, I think that from being bad at prose I've gone straight to fucking being weird, Fluff will probably creep in because it always does, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, except 28 yr olds shouldn't be crushing on 12 yr olds lmao, Juciest Lucius and his magnificent Staff, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Gilderoy Lockhart, Hermione Granger and her parents (mentioned), Arthurs Semen has its own name and is somewhat sentient against thots, lucius Malfoy has a magnificent extendable arse. If you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom. Filch disliked Rubeus Hagrid, the Gamekeeper and later Care of Magical Creatures professor. He even put a chair against the wall to keep guard there. Hes bitter.Ron Weasley's explanation of Filch's grouchy personality, Very foul-tempered, cantankerous, and easily annoyed, Filch had an extremely unpleasant personality. The first individual to be attacked was Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, whom he had a very close relationship with. [39] He learned that the one who petrified Mrs Norris was the memory of Tom Riddle, the one who controlled Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk. "Pleasetell me." Harry said, looking worried. This doesnt end the same as all the others did. [74], I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to inch me closer to the shackles, Mr Filch.Jacob's sibling talking to Filch in his office. Filch usually wandered around the school corridors with his cat Mrs Norris, trying to catch students breaking the school rules and complaining about Peeves the Poltergeist . The background story will basically follow the books, and won't bother restating everything that happens. Dont worry, however. [14], During the school year, a mysterious, dangerous monster roamed around the Castle and tried to attack muggle-born students. Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad then managed to catch the students leaving the Room of Requirement and Harry Potter, head of the organisation, was taken to the Headmaster's office while joined by Umbridge, Edgecombe, Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, the Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge and his Junior Assistant Percy Weasley, and two Aurors. When Harry Potter reached Filch, the caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs.[58]. [13], During the Start-of-Term Feast in the evening of 1 September, Filch stood by the double doors leading to the Great Hall as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore gave his start-of-term notices. Despite working at a school, Filch deeply resented the students and was greatly disliked by them in return,[13] and some members of the staff, as well. The dark side of Gilderoy Lockhart's one-sided love for Henrietta. Filch tried to frighten them, by telling that many dangerous creatures lived there. It would explain a lot. [48], On several occasions in December, Filch had to take Peeves from inside suits of armour, where he had taken to hide, singing Christmas carols with very rude lyrics of his own invention.[49]. Hermione makes a brief appearance as well. [62] Otherwise, she did have a low opinion of him, telling him not to stun some enchanted fireworks and having it explode all over the place, when it was in fact her own doing.[62]. This work now includes mini series as well as oneshots. WARNING-NSFW-ONESIDED LOVE/RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC-FEMALE HARRY IS NAMED HENRIETTA-NONCONSENSUAL BODY MODIFICATION AND BODY HORROR-TAGGED NSFW, EXPLICIT AND DARK JUST TO BE SAFE-EXPLICIT. . Rating: M The Dragon's Bride by Rizzle - Draco and Hermione wake up naked, hungover, and tattoo'd. And did we mention married? If you want more straightforward Remus/Sirius smut,Ten Minutesby KatScratches is the fic for you. They were saved by Quirinus Quirrell, who vouched for them while passing by. Molly Weasleys naked body can turn men to stone AND homosexuality. In Happy Birthday, Hermione! There's something thrilling about being the famous Harry Potter's teacher and Lockhart takes advantage of the chance to get so close to him. Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. I had no idea Percy Weasley and Oliver Wood were such a popular pairing until I started doing research for this article, at which point I uncovered a whole slew of Percy/Oliver erotica. Frustrated, McGonagall sent him to do something constructive and find Peeves, for the Poltergeist would be helpful against the Death Eaters. After insulting Sir Nicholas and threatening to report them, Sir Nicholas denounced Filch as a low-class bully and that he was supervising said student. [77] At night, while not patrolling the corridors, Filch wore an old flannel dressing gown. When Filch's cat, Mrs Norris, was petrified, Dumbledore seemed to care about Filch and his cat. Destiny is not written in stone [83], Immediately after the battle, Filch grimly looked at a large pile of rubble in the Entrance Hall, which he dutifully began trying to sweep up, while the fighters gathered in the Great Hall mourning over the dead, and celebrating over their victory.[82]. Harry told Hermione to calm down and tell him what's wrong. He wanted Lockhart to stop, but was powerless. He let them go after threatening to send them to Dumbledore, taking Mrs Norris to see Professor McGonagall to clean her fur. Harry was sprawled across his bed, one hand flung above his head, the other resting to his side. Apparently, Filch lost some of his duties, as punishment seemed to be given out exclusively by the Carrows and Severus Snape. If youre more interested in everyone having sex with everyone else (including twincest), tryMake A Noteby Inell. [53], Prior to the start of the school term, Filch fastened the list of forbidden items to his office door in an attempt to make students read it. Harry sank into one of the trick steps and got stuck in it, making his golden egg break open and wail. Welcome to Harry Potter Fan Fiction Wiki!At the Harry Potter Fanfiction Wiki, everything fan fiction is welcome. [36] Ron spent the evening of 5 September, 1992 with Filch, and kept burping up slugs all over Tom Riddle's Special Award for Services to the School. There is a small corner of the Internet dedicated to those of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter couples. by phantompopcorn, Ron gives Hermione the best kind of birthday present. Umbridge left Hogwarts the day before the end of term, having crept out during dinnertime in hope to depart undetected. It'll be worse for you if you do.Filch's sadistic enjoyment when punishing students. If youre like me, you might enjoyRuns in the Familyby TransBoyWonder. [62], Due to Harry's dislike of Filch, Harry twice jinxed him with Langlock in his sixth year, humiliating Filch much to the amusement of everyone who witnessed it.[71]. Inspected By No 13 by Clell65619. The cat was found petrified under a message written on the wall saying that "THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. He whimpered as he hardened even more. Hearing this, Filch thought that Peeves stole the egg. At the end of the day, Umbridge was dishevelled, sweaty-faced and soot-blackened from trying to extinguish the fireworks, and Filch set one of his brooms ablaze when he tried to swat at the fireworks in midair. Arthur and Molly's children have all grown up and moved out. Harry Potter is such a beautiful, erotic boy, and Gilderoy will have him wrapped tightly around his finger in the time it takes you to say Boggart. Harry Potter fan fiction involving time travel and King Arthur. Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. The Carrows were put in charge of all discipline and punishments, which were violent, including beatings and placing students under the Cruciatus Curse. [81] The caretaker stayed in the Castle during the battle,[82] although it is unknown how, as a Squib, he participated in the battle; perhaps he stayed to tend to the fighters' injuries or to aid the Hogwarts forces with his extensive knowledge of the Castle layout and secret passages. [69] Filch, however, was hoodwinked by Fred and George's Owl order service, in which their products came disguised as perfumes and cough potions. Albus always wanted Teddy, but never thought he would be able to have him. [70] Filch was also caretaker when Snape was a student at Hogwarts. Check outThings I Learned in Schoolby janed. DO NOT READ IF THE TAGS MAKE YOU SICK NOT A HAPPY STORY FOR HARRY! Rated M.] Okay, so this isn't the film actor for James Potter. Filch helped the students evacuate during the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the battle himself. [37] Filch was also present when in a corridor with all the other staff when a new message from the Heir of Slytherin appeared on the wall stating that Ginny had been taken into the chamber and that her skeleton will lie there forever. She, however, met Peeves on the way, who chased her from the premises, whacking her alternately with Minerva McGonagall's walking stick and a sock full of chalk as the students and teachers watched. Harry looked into Hermione's eyes. As Dolores Umbridge was a sadist who enjoyed torturing students, Filch could relate to her views on a number of levels. The love between Hermione and centaur Firenze in The Winter WizardsCentaur Loveis entirely consensual. [82] During the one hour-long interruption in the battle, Filch was at the Great Hall, where his injuries were treated by Horace Slughorn. Please consider turning it on! I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh? After this, he was forced to award them ten house points, much to his and Mrs Norris's displeasure. What a stupid question. The name "Argus" comes from Greek mythology, where it was the name of a giant with one hundred eyes who served the goddess Hera as a watchman (much like Mr Filch's role in patrolling the hallways of Hogwarts). Drowned Boy by cest_what adds Marcus Flint into the Percy/Oliver mix. Charlus was a fearless leader of the United Kingdom, and an unforgiving and ruthless person all around. Every Tuesday, hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman read a new chapter of Harry Potter erotic fanfiction. [62] He was one of the few people who actually liked her at the school. What the hell? Though not its own fanfic,Potteroticais a podcast worth checking out for any fan of Harry Potter erotica. Harry Potter and The Last Horcrux is not like most HP fanfiction. You filthy little beasts would never have dropped Stink Pellets if you'd known I had it in my power to whip you raw, would you, now? [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. Harry didnt want to react this way. [20], During this school year, Jacob's sibling tried to invite him to Hagrid's birthday party, which was pretty successful and he attended the party, although Professor McGonagall considered it a miracle if he agreed to celebrate anything whatsoever. In a world where Vernon decided to get the freak out of his house as long as possible before he starts training his magical powers, the man sells Harry to his boss for the next five years when Harry was five. One of the fandoms favorite non-canon pairings is Dramione (Draco/Hermione). Well, he thinks so, and he intends to act on it. Youve been warned. ), theres a Harry Potter erotica fanfic thats right for you. Write as much as you can. [75] His obsession with the castle's cleanliness led him to neglect actual security at times, as he forgot to lock the doors at least one time even in the more dangerous hours, something Slughorn reprimanded him for. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). flag All Votes Add Books To This List Previous 1 2 3 4 Next However, when he returned to his office, he learned that Harry had read his letter about Kwikspell courses. Work Search: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrinceHermione Granger and Harry Potter discussing the new security messures, Now in open war, upon the students' arrival at the school on 1 September, 1996, Filch was charged with checking the students and their possessions for dark objects with Secrecy Sensors. Caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs. [ ]... 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