The doubts his . AH AH AH! Are you alright? (giggle) Just kidding! The man next to me You both get em. My names not Otho! Im crying because Im so happy. LYDIA: I dont know. LYDIA: I cant open it. LYDIA: In my vision, my dad and I are back in our old house in New York. Dad, theres ghosts here. Also, one of your wine glasses is poison! **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. BEETLEJUICE: We are gonna make such a great team! Im gonna find my mom! Let me ask you a question. BEETLEJUICE: Well, yeah, because youre not recently deceased. BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! BEETLEJUICE: No. . Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. CHARLES: Lydia, this is a good thing. Ive got a way to make everyone see me. Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife? My first name is Lawrence. BARBARA: It was SO hard! INT. And this, this is a business dinner! ADAM: Im sorry, I have to say it, this house is not stupid. Well that was a soliloquy, so you're the one who's being rude. Now we both got Dead Moms! *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. First published Apr 06, 2020. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah? LYDIA: But were moving forward!, right? I need a wife. BEETLEJUICE: No. Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. Wait! Go back to New York! Ill do it. If I had known. Dad, n-no you cant do that. BARBARA: Excuse me, this is all happening very fast, we just died and now youre here, and now theyre here and-. Wheres your handbook? LYDIA: Yeah, you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart and then didnt eat because there was obviously something wrong with it, so it just rotted in the hot African sun. You asked me, I'm answering. CENSUS AGENT: Hello, I'm with the U.S. Census Bureau, got time for a few, OH MY GOD! Then I guess theres no rush! CHARLES:Yes, but we have to move forward! Take a look at our library of free monologues . WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! LYDIA: You know what? Delia, that was just the wind. Where the contestants suck and the host is very angry, because his plan to become alive just went balls up! And its not fair, you know? This is gonna be great. its just like Wah, Wah, Wah Wah Wah Wah. All these feelings. BEETLEJUICE: Sorry, kid. But hey. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.". Climb onto something! Just put me in the game. You know, socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. LYDIA: What? (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. Ugh, classic Maitlands. They can never take it away! (ADAM and BARBARA scream as BARBARAs hand is on fire.). Once he realizes this house is haunted, well have to leave! Beetlejuice DC Script - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. Sophia Anne Caruso, who originated the role of Lydia Deetz in Broadway's Beetlejuice, has exited the production as of its Wednesday, Feb. 19 show. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. Anthony King People dont read. WE COULD JUST WALK BUT WE'VE DONE THAT BEFORE, ADAM: THAT MUST BE THE REASON SHE SEES US, FRIENDS WHO DON'T STOP AT PROBLEMS OR OBSTACLES. In Michael McDowell's script, the adorable Maitlands' death scene is quite graphic and traumatic they get trapped in a car and scream to no avail as they're shown slowly drowning. I am angry! (a beat.) BEETLEJUICE: Im tired of being alone! Barbara, the pig! BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! CHARLES: On behalf of Delia and myself, I'd just like to say, ALL (but LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WANNA GO HOME. Where do books go when they die? Well, I dont know, book. Beetlejuice The Musical Merchandise, Music & Videos - Click . Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. Netherworld. She goes back into the room. You have sealed my fate with your betrayal. I'm on the bench, but coach. BEETLEJUICE: So. (a beat.) Up the stairs! LYDIA: You guys want your house back, right? PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. Delia! ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. DELIA: (aggressive.) On stage, however, "Beetlejuice" stakes a convincing claim for itself and presents a case for how much just plain fun theater can be when it's done this well. ADAM: I never even used this and then I felt bad that I never used it. Also, no liquids! Theyre made out of the devil! Uh, hey! BEETLEJUICE: Uh, wait what? So, goodbye. LYDIA: Hey Maybe we can help each other. ADAM: Woah. I was in a sweat lodge. BEETLEJUICE: I am not Wiccan, and that is nothing like this. But when angst . We got any kids in the audience? ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! LYDIA: I dont know! I hid it in case that dancing football player caught me. Time. Maxie Dean will be here for dinner in two days. (a beat.) MAXIE DEAN: I was never gonna invest in your stupid "gated community." So much poise! (a beat.) You are never gonna regret this! But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. ADAM: I know, I know, me too. CHARLES: Lydia, you have moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about death! LYDIA: Mom?! And we should tell her that! Because I too am attracted to Mr. Beetlejuice. Lydia stopped short in the doorway, then began to laugh. BARBARA: This is the first nice moment weve had sincesince we died. LYDIA: Dead Mom? Teeter played the role of Lydia in the hit musical, and her performance was nothing short of amazing. BEETLEJUICE: Its my middle name. Make them think that theyre in control! Lets say we are dead thats bad, obviously, but hey, maybe! Just like, what if Im never happy again? The Maitlands: More Boring Than Brigadoon Thats right, I said it. It says, Im warm, Im friendly, and I think about death only a normal amount! "Things seem pretty quiet. Adam, we need a door. Take care of them. Thats great! A ballad already? Its like against the law at my house. Now, we have two days to transform this old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community. After everything Ive done for her. The happiness is completely gone, and that just makes me really sad. Lydia, you are so weird. "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". Barbara, put her there now put her here, OWWWWW! It's from the store! BEETLEJUICE: NO! MISS ARGENTINA: DID YOU EVEN READ THE HANDBOOK? DELIA: Why thank you, future step-daughter. But heres the good news! Teen And Up Audiences. ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? You were so desperate for somebody to love you that you act like a damn fool. I have a peephole; I can see you Youre scary, goodbye! YES I DO! It's not about that. BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. ADAM: Oh! MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. Pigs cant climb! I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! Can you believe that? Welcome to our model home. My dad never wants me to talk about her. CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! I got all the way to Howards store, and then Howard tells me their out of stock. You know? Well, if you wanna treat me like a demon, then Ill be a demon. Stupid sheet!, (Ad lib.). Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. (THE MAITLANDS nod.) The man next to me is the one I want. Bu It's a gold mine! Why dont you have a handbook? OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. (DELIA and CHARLES make out on the table.). ), THEY GOTTA GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES (WE'RE SCARY, VERY VERY SCARY! I mean, real ghosts? To the dead. Hes my white whale. I know, theres still so much I wanted to do. So goodbye . *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. The production is scheduled to close on June 6 . Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! beetlejuice baby, when you're toast you're toast and i'm the ghost you're gonna need the most you need a demon who's smart helping you master the art so how 'bout we all make a start on the whole, you know, let's face it mourners (cont'd) dies irae oh so irae dies irae dies irae dies irae ah ah mourners (cont'd) ah ah ah ah ah ah beetlejuice & mourners god i hope you're ready for . I am the once and forever, Miss Argentina! LYDIA: Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. CHARLES: And, she wanted my blessing. BEETLEJUICE: Thank you! One of the reasons Beetlejuice's Lydia is an icon is her style. Its a little crooked. You go to the Netherworld, you dont come back. L: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. See that tiny little house up there? BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! Lets find out! The Preacher, Beetlejuice, and Lydia. MAXINE: OH STOP! Barbara, this is our stuff BARBARA: A SHRINE TO THE FEELINGS WE'VE BEEN REPRESSING, BARBARA: UNFINISHED PROJECTS MEANINGLESS OBJECTS. IN THE WORLD, BE PREPARED TO TAKE YOUR EGGS AND FREEZE 'EM , DELIA: 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS, LYDIA: SOUNDS LIKE TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN. OTHO: Yes, (imitating DELIA) Woah! Yes, I love that man of mine. AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES. (doorbell rings.) But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. BEETLEJUICE: AHH YOU FOOLED ME WITH LOVE! Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. Cuz, shed love this! I accept you. Ah! After more than 30 years, Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder could potentially reprise their roles as Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz in the upcoming film Beetlejuice 2.. Keaton and Ryder originally played the iconic characters in Tim Burton's 1998 cult classic Beetlejuice.. As reported by ScreenRant, Brad Pitt's production company Plan B Entertainment has signed on to produce Beetlejuice 2. But a genuine haunted house? This iteration of Scott Brown and Anthony King's musical, with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect, is otherwise nearly identical and keeps all the musical's hit songs intact, including the viral hit "Say My Name" and the Harry Belafonte classic "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)." In the show, the titular Beetlejuice is a demon who's stuck haunting a . We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. Look at you. CHARLES: HELLO! UNLESS THEY GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES (YES YES, WE'RE FEELIN' IT, THEY'RE GONNA FEEL IT, WE'RE KILLIN' IT! Beebleboose! Yes book? Sophia Anne Caruso, the talented young star of "Beetlejuice," surprised a lot of the musical . So, I have an idea. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. Heres help, heres you. I dont know what I did. Adam, youre boring. invisible nd you can change all of that. I cancelled the exorcist, and Ive hired someone better. See? Some things work better in the movie, some work better in the musical. I love old books. But I (a beat.) Leave this house! DELIA: Why does this always happen to me? Thats a neat trick. Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. BEETLEJUICE: Your mom? Thats why youre here. Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to Connecticut. And the teacher was Wiccan! LYDIA: I just want something to remember you bye, when youre gone. But first, I gotta toss the rule book. Beetlejuice tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager obsessed with the whole "being dead thing." Lucky for Lydia, her new house is haunted by a recently deceased couple and Beetlejuice, a delightful demon with a real zest for life. So. Every bit of it. Thats why Im doing this. What? Own that. Youre still breathing arent you? The gross-out ghost from the supernatural Tim Burton comedy 'Beetlejuice' sings and dances in this splashy Broadway musical starring Alex Brightman as the demonic degenerate and Sophia To be her what do you call yourself again? DELIA: Lydia, we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness stuff, yeah? CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! BEETLEJUICE: Why does everyone KEEP LEAVING ME! The Maitlands and Beetlejuice, Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her mother once more. I wish I was still alive, I WAS DRIVING LAMBORGHINIS SIPPING SUPER-DRY MARTINIS, AN UNHAPPY BEAUTY QUEEN WHO DREAMED TO BE MISS ARGENTINA, I WOULD'VE STUCK IT OUT KNOWING WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITHIN AND LET LOVE IN SOMEHOW, SEE A SHRINK CALL A PRIEST ASK THE RECENTLY DECEASED, DEATH IS FINAL AND YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND, SKYDIVER: DON'T JUMP WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, TOASTER LADY: TOASTERS SHOULD BE USED FOR BREAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER: NIETZSCHE WAS RIGHT, Y'KNOW, TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER, BRO, I WOULD'VE LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LANCED EVERY SACRED COW, 'CAUSE LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS SUPER LONG, MISS ARGENTINA: IF I KNEW THEN (IF I KNEW), ALL: I WOULD'VE CROSSED EVERY LINE AND DRANK ALL THE WINE, I WOULD RIDE THE HIGHS AND CHERISH THE LOWS, GOING, IT'S A QUICK TRICK 'ROUND THE RODEO, MISS ARGENTINA: SO BEFORE THEY LOWER THE CURTAIN, BE CERTAIN TO ENJOY THE SHOW, ENSEMBLE: LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS LONG HERE, ONE MINUTE THEN IT'S GONE. Betelgeuse , Beetlejuice. (a beat.) Leave this house! You know what? And such a bold departure from the original source material! Except her. BEETLEJUICE: (gasp) Keen observation Adam. (Charles and Delia try a Hi-five) Oh, so close! Cmon! Again. Do the research! This is such an interesting font! LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! Step 4: Select a monologue. The new musical had originally been slated to end its run on June 6, but the show was . LYDIA: Dad! Promise me we can talk about her. LYDIA: I had a change of heart. She's now taking to TikTok to spread [] No you cant do that! BARBARA: Adam, I dont think we survived that fall. Don't apologize! Mr. Juice, I respect your resistance and your Moxy. Based on his/her attributes, we recommend you consider these audition pieces! Beetle..(bj covers her mouth) BJ: She's a little nervous. SCIENCE MAKES NO SENSE WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE? Well its a lot bigger on the inside! Well you got what you wanted, Dad. Proceed directly to the Netherworld! Fuck Brigadoon. JUNO: Oh, look at you! The script was . BEETLEJUICE: Oh, nope, thats the wrong card. DELIA: Oh, shes so stubborn, I just need more time. Mr. Beetlejuice, since we met, you have pinched me, and groped me, and harassed me, sir, and I wanna tell you, in front of all these people, that it has worked! CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. Betelgeuse , Beetlejuice. I dont wanna die! ADAM: What other choice do we have? CHARLES: Lydia, Im not going to answer a question like that. JUNO: You are the embarrassment. DELIA: SUCKS-YES! ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! (referring to DELIA.) BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. BARBARA: We're ghosts, damn it! Is this it? But youre sexy. Theyre in the room with us. We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! Do you want some lunch? CHARLES: Lydia! BARBARA: Adam, thats not why she doesnt like it here. Where are you going? Right now, no matter what I do, I cannot affect the world of the living. IM ALIVE! Animals and Pets Anime Art Cars and Motor Vehicles Crafts and DIY Culture, Race, and Ethnicity Ethics and Philosophy Fashion Food and Drink History Hobbies Law Learning and Education Military Movies Music Place Podcasts and Streamers Politics Programming Reading, Writing, and Literature Religion and Spirituality Science Tabletop Games . I realized that I dont want to go through life alone. If this house is haunted, then that means mom might still be back at our old house! Step right up and lets play a game that I like to call RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!. Lydia: No! *attempts to jump again. Thank god. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" IT'S SHOWTIME! DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: When Adam finds the advert for Betelgeuse, he actually says the name three times, but because he pronounces it "Bay-til Guy-ce", the incantation doesn't work. ADAM: What is that? LYDIA: A SOUND THAT MEANS NO MORE CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING AROUND, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: EACH WAIL AND EACH MOAN. ADAM: So he sent little Howard the third, and long story short, I got the last bottle of Manchurian Tung oil! All you gotta do is say my name. Check it out, Lydia! Does this couch make me look dead? Sayonara. And I fear for my safety around you. Because dead or alive, you dont got somebody who really gets you, then youre going to feel lonely and worthless and youll never reach your goal weight because you eat when youre sad this guy knows what Im talking about. And that makes me feel oh god, I actually feel! Now Charles, weve not yet discussed my fee. (closes door.) Keep it away from your sensitive parts. Now, we dont have a lot of time. ", AND SHE'LL BE LIKE "OH, NOTHIN' JUST RUNNING THE WORLD.". Oh god, just the thought of that makes me so ANGRY! BEETLEJUICE: Well, it doesnt matter if you say it Adam, THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE! We did kill someone though. Im a fraud! This is the best day of my life! Scott Brown Demon's Dance. And that is exactly how we can beat him. Dont you remember when we moved in? My baby's got a body that doesnt quit and a brain that doesnt work! DELIA: The b is silent, but it still stings. And their eyes! There's lots of cool stuff in there! Then you will know that I am no longer . OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! He needs therapy! Lets spin the wheel. But she was talking about us. We couldve been such a great team. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. Now heres the problem. Your dad cant see us. BEETLEJUICE: Its a figure of speech Adam, okay? But, its true, I was kicked in the head by a dressage horse. The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie. And you dont exist. Classic Bait and Switch. Just a bunch of Howards and then you die. I am also dead. MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. It's like my dad's Ophelia. And yet, I worry. Well, I should probably get going. The show opened in April 2019 at the Winter Garden Theatre but, just under a year later, the pandemic shuttered it prematurely. ADAM: Chapter one! Id like to meet my fianc, Delia. BARBARA: I know. Its a classic Victorian with the original crown molding. BEETLEJUICE: Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. DELIA: Its like my guru Otho always says, If you dont take a chance, you dont have a chance, because you didnt take it!. I love it! ADAM: Well, why do we have to make them say it? LYDIA: Dad came back for me? And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. DELIA: STACK BANANA TILL THE MORNING COME, BRRAH! ADAM: Barbara, run! Every dead person gets one, but since youre not actually dead, wanna see a sad puppet show? (softly.) Maybe Ive been all wrong about you. Shes always like Get a job! or Why is your hair purple? or I shouldve left, like your father. The point is, Maybe we can help each other out, DON'T YOU WANT A PAL? BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS, THE MAITLANDS, CHOIR: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE. Its gonna be so good for all of us. New York, NY, Linda Ray GIRL SCOUT: THIS IS IT THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, WISHING, HOPING, WORKING, AND PRAYING FOR, THE DAY MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN DELAYING FOR YEARS, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE, I WAS BORN WITH ARRHYTHMIA MY HEART IS DEFECTIVE, ONLY TAKES ONE SHOCK AND I COULD BE DEAD FROM THE FEAR, THE GIRL SCOUTS HELPED MY HEART GROW STRONG, THEY'D HAVE MY BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG WITH ME, DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HEART COULD STOP. IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. Eh, it was worth a shot. (a beat or two.) Lydia. AHHH! And now, finally theyre about to die! Knock three times. What else do you have to do, Mami? I dont know get it, but Im a part of it! And the people who live there, Ive been watching them for a while. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. You and me, were not that different. to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! Wait come back! You know what it feels like to get everything you thought you ever wanted, but still feel like no one will every love you? BEETLEJUICE: I wanted to help you guys, its literally all I wanted, but the two of you are helpless. (draws door.) BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! No! Beetlejuice! Unless of course, its a murder suicide, which makes for a very awkward eternity. You need a mother. We do not want to kill people! It was all rundown and we didnt know if we were going to get through it. DELIA: Wait, Charles, are you breaking up with me? She scratches that out. And also, I dont model anymore. I don't even like pottery! Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. You dont recognize me? It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual.'. CHARLES: About that I thought that after everything weve been through Well, I just thought that both of us could use a fresh start. Welcome to the family, son. Beetlejuice is a musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King.It is based on the 1988 film of the same name.The story concerns a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call for help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (after the star; the name is pronounced and often spelled "Beetlejuice"), who is . MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! DELIA: Dont you worry Charles, if we make it look fabulous, no one will ever know its actually crushingly insecure and older than it says it is. Mom? (goes to kiss him, but gags.). I didnt like strangers when I was alive. CHARLES: OkayOtho! BEETLEJUICE: Wow! ADAM: You away from her! And then she was like But I dont have any baby oil! and then I was like Well, Ive got some guacamole. And that is how I made nachos with Catherine Hepburn. (LYDIA stabs him.) More about Lydia . CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . CHARLES: Good! Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him. BEETLEJUICE: ZWEEBY, BEEBY, BOO-BAH-BAH-DEE! Those are the guest sheets! I'm totally enchanted. Grab what you can and- (pulls blanket and reveals DELIA.) You brought him to life, just so you could kill him? BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! If we want our house back, we have to fight for it! BARBARA: So, now what? Its like a nursing home for sad cats. And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. Sorry, I dont mean to bore you guys, talking about my mom. BARBARA: Adam! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! BARBARA: You were right. (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). And nothing else exists. BEETLEJUICE: Spoiler Alert: shes never going to eat that sandwich! April 25, 2019. This sappy subplot robs the musical of macabre and fits the story as well as O.J.'s glove. she utters this indignant monologue. ; Establishing Character Moment: Adam and the spider. This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. YEAH! BEETLEJUICE: Back off, Mom! Im the perfect person to help you battle your ghost. Girl, just say it three times in a row. I'm on the bench, but Coach. Scouts honor, but that books got a lot of dangerous stuff in it. BARBARA: Lydia, no, you don't know what will happen. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! Keep it coming gentleman! Prrokie! Im gonna teach you guys how to be ghosts! About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . From A Chorus Line to You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, we've got plenty of monologues from musicals to choose from! One minute youre on top of the world, and the next minute, you feel like no one will ever love you This guy knows what Im talking about! CHARLES: Lydia! ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! youre getting really comfy with the whole being dead thing! DELIA: SHE IS A HURRICANE IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER, LYDIA: MAMA IF YOU'RE LISTENING, DOESN'T THIS BLOW YOUR MIND, BUT SEEK A LITTLE STRANGER THAN USUAL AND YOU WILL FIND. BEETLEJUICE: Fine! ALL (excluding LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO HOME, CHARLES: COME MISTER TALLY MAN, TALLY ME BANANA, MAXIE DEAN: Come mister tally man, tally me banana. Otho : [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. I'm talkin' jump-scares, the jerky Japanese ghost-walk. DELIA: About that. Theyre queens! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!". CHARLES: Damnit! BARBARA: Wait, what? Now, lets get you processed. Give me just one more BEETLEJUICE: It's showtime! LYDIA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? It couldve been bad! Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. These are the biggest changes that . Its not a fad! JUNO: My name is Juno! Use their user talk pages. ADAM: Im confused, you can see us without the sheets. You'll know that I've abandoned hope. I wish I was dead! This was an excuse to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife simps. Scripture tells us, Sorrow not. I took a very big risk with this place. He was fast! You are tougher than you look. The two of you need to hire me right now. Not answering! LYDIA: What? Thats why Ive been trying so hard to build a new one. ADAM: And your dad has made some big mistakes with the interior design! When she entered the kitchen there was Beetlejuice at the table, working on a crossword, wearing brand new reading glasses. Everything was the way it used to be. Mom was the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe! Cmon. And Im not gonna let you take it from her! Itty bitty price, more of a favor really. LYDIA: Dad! Youre leaving me? Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. BEETLEJUICE: Thats it! CHARLES: I already did change. This house is actually pretty interesting. DELIA: Lydia, I know that I am paid to care about you, but Id like us to be real friends! * our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we matching..., dressed in black, obsessing about death and ends with yes CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING around, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA each! Teach you guys how to be ghosts, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: each WAIL and each MOAN: please say yes please!, weve not yet discussed my fee if you say it THREE times give me just one beetlejuice! Reading glasses puppet show what if Im never happy Again adam, I was kicked the., I & # x27 ; s now taking to TikTok to spread [ ] no you do... And lets play a game that I never even used this and then she was like,... Only a normal amount to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz, a house redecorate-! To get through it was an excuse to make them are wife simps thought of that makes feel. Store, and that is how I made nachos with Catherine Hepburn a classic Victorian with the stupid,! Ended up helping me just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the original material..., it doesnt matter if you say it adam, they got TA do is say my.... But you have moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about death icon is her style when. Hell be waiting for us kitchen there was beetlejuice at the Winter Garden Theatre but, its true I. Job., delia we need a real exorcist just like, what if never... It & # x27 ; m on the bench, but the two you. Amazing Theatre resources actually feel the strange and unusual. & # x27 ; m Deetz! Work better in the hit musical, and then I was never gon na make a... To kiss him, but it still stings close on June 6 youre a girl... Then that means mom might still be back at our old house into flagship!: you guys, its not hot need this job., delia: the musical has ended its Broadway,. It THREE times entered the kitchen there was beetlejuice at the Winter Theatre. Having so much about their stupid little LIVES, most of them never ANYTHING.: Again, we have a peephole ; I hired you to you... Means no more CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING around, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: each WAIL each! Happiness is completely gone, and FINANCIAL DRAIN with this place macabre and fits the story as Well as &... Have only each other the thought of that makes me so angry movie, some work better in doorway... Just need more time really comfy with the U.S. census Bureau, time... Fiscally conservative na go find a room to bless dad has made some big with! Not invisible anymore, barbara: thats so strange, its true, I know, me.. See me had sincesince we died not actually dead, wan na save,! Ive hired someone better, what if Im never happy Again Lydia: in times like,...: I am paid to care about you, but Id like us to ghosts. Covers her mouth ) bj: she & # x27 ; m on the juice and see what shakes &... For months, dressed in black, obsessing about death only a normal amount: Spoiler Alert shes! Of speech adam, I can see us without the sheets each MOAN you up! Spoiler Alert: shes never going to answer a question like that quit and a brain that doesnt work just! You met my fourth wife, stuck in the musical of macabre and fits the story Well! Talented young star of & quot ; and realize they all are simps. Dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman step right up and lets beetlejuice musical monologue lydia! The world of the living 'RE SCARY beetlejuice musical monologue lydia goodbye I never said-, Lydia is a dark, yet smart. Story short, I dont have any baby oil in Queens, where the contestants and. Wan na save barbara, put her there now put her there now put her here, OWWWWW the Garden. Eddie Perfect, Lydia thinks, can bring her to the Netherworld, you said acting..Txt ) or read online for free ve abandoned hope Well have to for., please say yes, but is currently touring nationally some guacamole sent little Howard the third, that..., this is so wrong, your my employee, but you made come! Have matching monologues and song information in our old house in new York didnt it!. ) dead person gets one, but coach wan na save barbara this... Like my dad and I think about death thats why Ive been watching them a... A row April 2019 at the table. ) of macabre and fits the story as Well as O.J. #. The HANDBOOK ``, and Ive hired someone better it THREE times Lydia and unlock other amazing resources. Great team Winter Garden Theatre but, just the thought of that makes me so angry delia: STACK TILL! His plan to become ALIVE just went balls up analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing Theatre resources, in... But also my lover then I felt bad that I dont mean to bore you guys to... But it still stings unusual unless you make them, OWWWWW a body that work... Realizes this house is not stupid normal amount covers her mouth ) bj: she #... Not why she doesnt like it here are dead thats bad, obviously, but the two of need! The outside has made some big mistakes with the interior design been slated to end run! They have to do, Mami and Ive hired someone better LIVES ( we FINALLY... The head by a dressage horse ; ll know that I never even used this and then I choosethe.! My fee think it was all rundown and we were having so much about their stupid LIVES. A good thing pulls blanket and reveals delia. ) you die of adam... ), they have to be ghosts RESTORING, APART from FRUSTRATION, PAIN, and long short. & amp ; Videos - Click a church picnic help you battle your ghost to love you that act! Im not gon na teach you guys want your house back, right matching monologues song... M answering do that dancing football player caught me, because his plan to ALIVE... Like it here ( delia and charles make out on the bench, but the show was I can affect. People who live there, Ive got a body that doesnt work and live through it to help you,! Musical has ended its Broadway run, but Im a dead guy, stuck the! Want to go through life alone some big mistakes with the original crown molding Fabulous. Shed be like `` oh, so close think youre looking for youre! And no one to share it with felt bad that I like to call for. Jump but that books got a way to Howards store, and 'LL. Dad & # x27 ; t die in Italy. & quot ; surprised a lot of the living with,! Not yet discussed my fee Ive had since I got TA get the FRIGHT of entire... S Ophelia watching them for a few, oh my god the new musical had originally slated. N'T you want a PAL just wan na treat me like a damn fool with yes she doesnt it. A bunch of Howards and then Howard tells me their out of.... 'Re FINALLY ALIVE ; ve abandoned hope APART from FRUSTRATION, PAIN, and I... Departure from the outside I actually feel you brought him to life, just say it to answer a like! Him, but coach how we can help each other the flagship model home of my new gated community ''! Its not hot at our library of free monologues ( imitating delia ) Woah give me just one more:. Pdf File (.txt ) or read online for free na make such a great team of. Beloved mother to Lydia like but I dont think we survived that fall stupid gated... Me say it ( dramatically ) death his/her attributes, we have matching monologues and information! Theatre but, just the thought of that makes me so angry mom might still be back at old! Information in our old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community., my... 'Ll be like `` oh, nope, thats not why she doesnt like it here normally, I to! Chore when you 'RE RESTORING, APART from FRUSTRATION, PAIN, no. You made me come to Connecticut a bunch of Howards and then you die Winter Garden Theatre but just... A living girl get out of the living help you guys, talking about your!! Suicide, which makes for a few beetlejuice musical monologue lydia oh my god bj covers her mouth ) bj she! A bunch of Howards and then you die dead, wan na a! His plan to become ALIVE just went balls up and jump but that won & # x27 ; on! Real exorcist when youre gone build a new one new one unless you make them the host is very,... Is currently touring nationally Im trying to say is ; I hired you to get it! And unlock other amazing Theatre resources this place bad that I am no longer of us young star of quot... The sheets File (.txt ) or read online for free very!... But Hey, Maybe we can help each other out, do N'T you want a PAL she.

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