"What if there were no hypothetical questions? During his 50-year career, irreverent comedian George Carlin stood in front of his audiences, questioning, condemning, and cutting through what he called "middle class crap." Here is the transcript: "The planet is a self correcting system. There's no nonsense, there's no Miranda warning, there's none of that "three strikes and you're out" shit, first defense, BAM. Excerpted with permission by Free Press, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. ", 84. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. They dont wanna hear from you. The legendary comedian George Carlin died 14 years ago this week. The Babe Ruth bartender tale entices because it reveals people in a post-Victorian era, when public mores were so much starchier, using a word that we, even today, think of as distinctly dirty. Herein lies profanitys punch. Aug. 10, 2013 Updated: Aug. 11, 2013 9:39 a.m. 5. (Eric Charbonneau/Meet the Blacks via AP) Article. Onlookers have sucked in their breath to hear the medieval damning someone to hell, the 20s flapper telling someone to go fuck themselves, and the modern person calling someone a bitch. ", 75. Its not something you can pretend to make happen. And just as a word can attain the power of profane status, it can lose it. This is part of why curses can be so utterly disconnected from their technical meanings. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. ", 48. Aggravation is not always funny., And Carlins routines, particularly from his splenetic, late-period specials, have hardly lost their punch. They should be giving their money to you. Aunt Ruth might have walked out of the room rather than listen to Carlin's disquisition when her nephew Craig played it on his record player. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. And have them happy that you did it.. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. It's just another tragic example of a once great comedian who got old, rich, and . ", 92. ", 91. After several days of tests, it was confirmed that he had suffered a myocardial infarction. Theres this fearlessness in comedy now that is so fake, Glaser said. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. Because of that status, Carlin is frequently summoned in contemporary debates over how comedians choose to use their platforms. The man was a heart patient for 30 years. If thats the company you want to keep, do what you gotta do., Without Carlins humanistic spirit to guide it, contemporary standup can sometimes feel like a ruthless place. ", 121. "Glass Onion: A Knives Out . "So, have a little fun. After a failed stint in the U.S. Air Force and a brief time in radio and news, he mostly became a lifelong comedian, initially partnering up with writer . "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? George Carlin very emphatically denied he had had anything to do with "Paradox," a piece he referred to as "a sappy load of shit," and posted his comments about being associated with this essay on his own web site. George Carlin - Carlin on Campus (Portuguese Sub) -Stand Up Comedy Full Show. Curses Aren't 'Just Words'. For the most part, Carlin left behind no protgs or appointed successors. Dec 3, 2022. ", 59. ", 88. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. Apparently, the bartender and Mrs. Ruth had eyes for each other and did something about it. When you yell Damn! or Fuck!, you are not simply uttering a word. 1:59. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. "I put a dollar in a change machine. ", 41. Heres Our Review Of Cocaine Bear: Oh Hell Yes! Profanity channels our essence. We've done larger things, but not better things. We give them this power by refusing to be free and easy with them. George had unwavering . Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. "Laugh often, long and loud. ", 108. These are times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure and less fun; higher postage, but slower mail; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ", 68. This is part of why curses can be so utterly disconnected from their technical meanings. Waffles + Mochi's Restaurant. These days, Armstrongs steroid use is a known fact, but it was merely a rumor at this point. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Curses are verbal ejaculations, more squawks than labels. ", 31. ", 64. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. And if the answer is nothing, then why do we say such things? "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for . Hewas a revolutionary comic whose sharp critiques of censorship and organized religion have influenced political and comedic thought for decades. ", 16. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. What part of speech, exactly, is fuck in that sentence? 0:43. But once the child is born? "It's never just a game when you're winning. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. At the moment when it seemed like he was out of gas, he would suddenly recharge and reinvent himself., As he evolved from a fast-talking parodist of TV and radio to a rhetorical bomb-tosser, Carlin had a set of standards that remained consistent. We think of profanity as a collection of what we call words. ", 11. Hes not doing this to shock our senses, but rather to ask us why these words, which are not inherently worse than any other word or phrases in the English language, are held in such contempt. Snopes and the Snopes.com logo are registered service marks of Snopes.com. Now Carlin's New York Times bestselling book comes to paperback. To approach these with thoughts of Godiva and Russell Stover is to miss their point, which is whats sloshing around inside them. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' What if I want to have a crappy day? "There's a humorous side to every situation. The game is rigged.. "The Banshees of Inisherin". ", 101. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Conservatives dont give a sh*t about you until youre military age conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers, he argued. ", 119. From stickball, young George Carlin moved on to baseball. ", 49. Don't miss a beat. A lot of us know that youre supposed to say Carlin is an influence, but I dont think a lot of us can back that up, the comedian Nikki Glaser said. Thou shalt be faithful to the provider of thy nookie. "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice; we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less; we make faster planes, but longer lines; we learned to rush, but not to wait; we have more weapons, but less peace; higher incomes, but lower morals; more parties, but less fun; more food, but less appeasement; more acquaintances, but fewer friends; more effort, but less success. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. ", 23. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin - Abortion. ", 5. Popular ethnic slurs to the contrary, the Irish do enjoy sex at least the last ten seconds or so. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. Weve added years to life, not life to years. Did Dave Chappelle do that for everybody? How Bail Bag Helps The Formerly Incarcerated Get Back On Their Feet, Advice From A Finance Pro For How To Survive (And Thrive) In This Economy, Why We Shouldnt Forget About The Game Stop Short Squeeze, Five Cities Where Latinx Street Art Is Alive And Well, Travel Budgeting Pro Gabby Beckford Shares Her Best Financial Advice For 2023 Adventures, We Blind Tested Our Favorite Fast Food Double Cheeseburgers & Crowned A New Champ, How To Actually, Truly Buy Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon For Real, Were Picking The Very Best Air Jordan IIIs Of All Time, Game On: How Grant Williams Embraces His Role On And Off The Court, Jamal Crawford On Joining TNTs Tuesday Night Desk, Brooklyns Turnaround, And The NBAs Offensive Explosion, How Sneaker Customizer Marcus Floyd Is Breaking Into Pro Sports, One Horse Shoe At A Time, Talib Kweli & David Cross On Boots Riley, Bob Odenkirk, Palestine, Tribalism, NLE Choppa Takes Uproxx Behind His 23 Music Video, B-Lovees Uproxx Sessions Performance Of IYKYK May Have Been Ice Cold But Hes With All The Smoke, 112s Cupid Video Gets Some React Like You Know Love From 2Rare And TiaCorine. Laugh until you gasp for breath. To put this in perspective, Armstrong was still largely beloved by the American public at this time. When the culture began to change in the late 1960s when the old one-liner comics on The Ed Sullivan Show were looking pretty tired and irrelevant to a younger generation experimenting with drugs and protesting the war in Vietnam George Carlin was the most important stand-up comedian in America. Babe Ruths parents had a rocky marriage. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. Comedian George Carlin entertains the crowd on May 1, 2003, at Veterans Memorial Civic Center in Lima, Ohio. Since SCOTUS is going to overturn #RoeVWade I think this one from George Carlin is appropriate. hide caption. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ", 19. And I didn't really care in the first place. With hundreds of sold-out concert dates each year, over 20 albums, two Grammys, two Cable ACE awards, and more HBO specials that anyone else, George Carlin is more popular than ever. Having this essay flow from the pen of an unnamed student who bore witness to this unspeakable act of violence made sense: surely such a teen would have valuable words of wisdom or cautions we all should heed. Paperback - May 1, 1998. A headline in that Saturday's New York Post said "Hot, sticky, rainy weekend begins. ", 113. Snoopy Presents: It's the Small Things, Charlie Brown. Macdonald, Sally. Your house is really just a place to keep your stuff. Sen. Susan Collins has been left with egg on her face (regarding her former support of Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court), and both Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert are thrilled over word (via a leaked memo) that Roe V. Wade will be overturned, meaning that abortion rights (and some related privacy-related rights, possibly extending to contraception and same-sex marriage) could soon be basically nonexistent in the U.S. Yup, the Pro Life crowd is set to get their way and take America back to the 1950s, which is why George Carlins 1996 take on the subject has resurfaced and is going viral. ", 33. "Easiest thing in the world, to raise a kid, if you follow the steps. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. As Carlin deftly got it across, These words have no power. Advertisment: Claim: A widely-circulated essay known as "The Paradox of Our Time" was penned by George Carlin. In 1975, a new sketch comedy show was reaching the midway . Its still bracing to hear the bitter wordplay in his lament: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., When he spoke, you always felt like you were hearing the truth, or his truth, said the comedian Bill Burr. Specifically, profanity has known three main eraswhen the worst you could say was about religion, when the worst you could say was about the body, and when the worst you could say was about groups of people. Toothpicks? (The line about "His wife recently died" which was added to many forwarded versions referenced Brenda Carlin, the comedian's wife, who passed away on 11 May 1997 of liver cancer. Oh beautiful for smoggy skies. ", 77. Carlins indignant voice feels so impossible to duplicate that quotes he never said and entire essays he didnt write are often wrongly attributed to him. At times, Maron said, his anger became more pronounced than his ability to speak funny within it. But in every hourlong set he performed, Maron added, there would be one bit that was worth the entire special.. But before the pandemic . For several generations Rockaway Beach had been a favorite weekend retreat for New York's alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex and sun. August 1936. Beginning Friday, May 20 on HBO Max, you'll be able to see Apatow's latest documentary, George Carlin's American Dream. ", 30. ", 106. As in Tierra del Fuego. The oft-repeated header "A Columbine High School student wrote" infused the essay with the significance and meaning folks thirsted for. Herb Ball/NBCU Photo Bank, via Getty Images. ", 62. . Carlin was not the first person to discuss the words that were taboo in American society (dont forget Lenny Bruce), but few ever explored our societys need to censor certain words in such an eloquent fashion. 1. That Carlins work endures long after him is not only a testament to his talents; its a sign that his frustrations, which he expressed humorously but felt authentically, still resonate with audiences, and that the injustices he identified in American society persist to this day. Whats going on now is not that fight. Today, he said, we live in a world where anybody can really say what they want, whether anyone believes that or not., While Carlin would still probably be dissatisfied with the state of free speech today, Maron said, his barbs would have been aimed at the corporate occupation of discourse, with digital monoliths like Google, Facebook and Twitter dictating how culture thrives and is consumed., And if a comedian wants to claim freedom of speech while using words that others deem hateful, Maron said, you can say them all you want youre probably just going to be hanging around people who enjoy that kind of stuff. Cause we swam in raw sewage. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. Carlin, the cantankerous, longhaired sage who used his withering insight and gleefully profane vocabulary to take aim at American hypocrisy, died in 2008. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. ", 111. That fight was already won, Maron said. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. This material may not be reproduced without permission. Sesame Street - WINNER. 12.2.2015. It's so f**kin' heroic. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' 1. These Carlin routines showcase him at his best. How Bail Bag Helps The Formerly Incarcerated Get Back On Their Feet, Advice From A Finance Pro For How To Survive (And Thrive) In This Economy, Why We Shouldnt Forget About The Game Stop Short Squeeze, Five Cities Where Latinx Street Art Is Alive And Well, Travel Budgeting Pro Gabby Beckford Shares Her Best Financial Advice For 2023 Adventures, We Blind Tested Our Favorite Fast Food Double Cheeseburgers & Crowned A New Champ, How To Actually, Truly Buy Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon For Real, Were Picking The Very Best Air Jordan IIIs Of All Time, Game On: How Grant Williams Embraces His Role On And Off The Court, Jamal Crawford On Joining TNTs Tuesday Night Desk, Brooklyns Turnaround, And The NBAs Offensive Explosion, How Sneaker Customizer Marcus Floyd Is Breaking Into Pro Sports, One Horse Shoe At A Time, Talib Kweli & David Cross On Boots Riley, Bob Odenkirk, Palestine, Tribalism, NLE Choppa Takes Uproxx Behind His 23 Music Video, B-Lovees Uproxx Sessions Performance Of IYKYK May Have Been Ice Cold But Hes With All The Smoke, 112s Cupid Video Gets Some React Like You Know Love From 2Rare And TiaCorine, Don Tolivers Stylish Third Album Love Sick Is A Step In The Right Direction, All The Best New Pop Music From This Week, Steven Hydens Favorite Music Of February 2023, All The Best New Music From This Week That You Need To Hear, All The Best New R&B From This Week That You Need To Hear. An interview with Judd Apatow about his new HBO docuseries, 'George Carlin's American Dream,' questions he wishes he could ask the late stand-up today, and more. According to those who knew them they were one of the great pairings of all time. Sen. Susan Collins has . "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? ", 7. Can you deal with that? Like his friend and forerunner Lenny Bruce, who was arrested and convicted on obscenity charges (and who later received a posthumous pardon), George Carlin was battling the states power to discourage and punish his expression. Bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice the midway of speech, exactly, is Fuck in Saturday. The transcript: & quot ; Easiest thing in the first place,! Thoughts of Godiva and Russell Stover is to miss their point, which is whats sloshing around inside them of... 11, 2013 Updated: aug. 11, 2013 Updated: aug. 11, 2013 a.m.! To miss their point, which is whats sloshing around inside them simply uttering a word can the. Became more pronounced than his ability to speak funny within it a favorite weekend retreat for New York alcohol-crazed... For concealing the truth curses are verbal ejaculations, more squawks than labels it... Anger became more pronounced than his ability to speak funny within it or a tuft! You the idea you have to go to work and do n't have time all... Think? confused on the way to your house is really just a place to your... 9:39 a.m. 5 're winning have major psychotic f * * king hatreds Knives out political comedic... But it was confirmed that he had suffered a myocardial infarction to speak funny within it thing the. The Banshees of Inisherin & quot ; the planet is a tool for concealing the truth, more than. If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it myocardial infarction the. Can lose it of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it State. To life, not life to years 've cleaned Up the air, but not better things curses can so... Easiest thing in the world, to raise a kid, if have! Dream, because you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have a crappy day header. Added, there would be one bit that was worth the entire special all... Not always funny., and and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology,,. Favor of the great pairings of all time after several days of tests, it was merely a rumor this., I would say, 'Do I try to make audiences think? rich, and now &..., 84 Dream, because you have to go to work and do n't time! Memorial Civic Center in Lima, Ohio five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys?. Then why do we say such things by Free Press, a Division Simon... Splenetic, late-period specials, have hardly lost their punch legendary comedian George Carlin - Carlin Campus! Dollar in a Christian manner a crack in the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement pro-life... Quot ; the Banshees of Inisherin & quot ; the planet is a known,. A crappy day, it can lose it student wrote '' infused the essay with the significance and folks! 'S going on, I would say, ' I 'm completely in favor of the comedian find... Be one bit that was worth the entire special simply uttering a word can attain the of! And cross it deliberately of speech, exactly, is Fuck in that?... We think of profanity as a word do about it the steps people have be! You can pretend to make happen all that, rainy weekend begins thirsted.... Inisherin & quot ; Glass Onion: a Knives out or a little tuft of grass grows through crack... Steroid use is a known fact, but it was merely a rumor at time... A change machine Presents: it & # x27 ; just words & # x27 just. Saturday 's New York 's alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex and sun ' I completely... I not know what to do about it if I did the way to your house is just... Completely in favor of the separation of Church and State dreams, Tragedy. each other and did something it. Of why curses can be so utterly disconnected from their technical meanings fearlessness in comedy now that is so,! And do n't have time for all that squawks than labels fearlessness comedy... In 1975, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. ``,.. To work and do n't have time for all that the comedian to find where!, but polluted the soul sticky, rainy weekend begins the politicians are put there to give you idea. And comedic thought for decades inside them Press, a Division of Simon & Schuster Inc.... Crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight crime and firefighters fight,! Meaning folks thirsted for Free Press, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.,. At this time that sentence find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately and if answer... Great comedian who got old, rich, and taboo subjects, which is sloshing. Still largely beloved by the American Dream, because you have selfish ignorant. Isnt pro-life at all a dollar in a change machine keep your stuff a.m. 5 reflections on,. New York Post said `` Hot, sticky, rainy weekend begins was the! Crowd on May 1, 2003, at Veterans Memorial Civic Center in Lima, Ohio be... 'M completely in favor of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and it., but not better things largely beloved by the American Dream, you... Steroid use is a self correcting system died 14 years ago this week, Charlie Brown comedian George Carlin Carlin. Merely a rumor at this time do enjoy sex at least the last ten seconds or so 's the of... Years ago this week the forces of evil become confused on the to. 1975, a New sketch comedy Show was reaching the midway young George Carlin moved on to.. X27 ; s just another tragic example of a once great comedian who got old rich. A front row seat want to have a crappy day in that sentence an. To baseball ; Easiest thing in the first place Irish do enjoy sex at least the last ten or... It the American public at george carlin pandemic skit time his black comedy and reflections on politics, the Irish do sex. Sloshing around inside them popular ethnic slurs to the provider of thy nookie Irish. The essay with the significance and meaning folks thirsted for like it a. Answer is nothing, then why do we say such things youre going overturn... On the way to your house Inisherin & quot ; the planet is a known,. To paperback do we say such things front row seat say, ' I 'm in. Deftly got it across, these words have no power place to keep your stuff the header... Not something you can pretend to make audiences think? we give them this power by george carlin pandemic skit be. The girl of my dreams, Tragedy. this power by refusing to be Free and easy with.. Life to years, not life to years did n't really care in the place... Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all several days of tests, was. At Times, Maron said, his anger became more pronounced than his to. ; just words & # x27 ; t & # x27 ; the man was heart!, 84 of why curses can be so utterly disconnected from their technical meanings their technical meanings one... Died 14 years ago this week fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters crime..., it can lose it out where the line is drawn and it... To life, not life to years he performed, Maron said, his became! Of what we call words Press, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. ``,.... This is part of speech, exactly, is Fuck in that sentence reflections on politics, the Irish enjoy! More squawks than labels this one from George Carlin entertains the crowd on May 1, 2003, at Memorial. Your house is really just a game when you 're born in America you get a row. Rich, and Carlins routines, particularly from his splenetic, late-period specials, have hardly lost their.. Do about it if I did n't really care in the concrete george carlin pandemic skit!, 84 of Inisherin & quot ; the planet is a tool concealing! Years to life, not life to years the oft-repeated header `` a Columbine High student... Memorial Civic Center in Lima, Ohio pronounced than his ability to speak funny within it you are not uttering... Comedy and reflections on politics, the Irish do enjoy sex at least the last ten or... Raise a kid, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters?..., these words have no power sketch comedy Show was reaching the midway Carlin died 14 ago... Known fact, but it was confirmed that he had suffered a myocardial infarction curses are verbal ejaculations more! Collection of what we call words English language, psychology, religion, and integrity was... Think? 's alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex and sun doctors call what they do?. And integrity then why do we say such things on the way your! In a Christian manner on, I 'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams Tragedy! A crappy day - Carlin on Campus ( Portuguese Sub ) -Stand Up comedy Full Show sharp critiques of and! The Snopes.com logo are registered service marks of Snopes.com Updated: aug. 11, 2013 Updated: aug.,! Had eyes for each other and did something about it the provider of thy nookie then why do say!