I still clean the kitchen and make dinner but we still share the chores. If you're quarantined with the person you've vowed to be with "'til death," you might relate to these tweets way too much. 1 I've decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. But whether we're talking about the ordinary or the extraordinary, some spouses find a way to treat marriage with a healthy dose of humor. Sorry. So I don't try to impose my reality as if it was other people's reality, try doing the same. That's awesome. Check out even more. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Youve got some good ones there. "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now.". As for the chores just because somebody is working from home doesn't mean they're suddenly available to do chores. ET Quarantining is a challenge for everyone, but there is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples. And, less life-threatening, but still unfair, women are still doing most of the chores, even If the men are at home. 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My wife has started throwing baby showers for all the birds nesting in our backyard. @simoncholland, In 34 years on this planet, Ive learned one very important lesson that Im going to pass on to you fellas. Wife: *from gallery* oh BIG surprise. Thats them relaxing and feeling at ease with you. In 34 years on this planet Ive learned one very important lesson that Im going to pass on to you fellas. Definitely get married so you too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM. Did the virus suck all the intelligence out of the country? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. Every husband in the background of a Zoom conference. You have an specific situation. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. @danielrcarrillo, Before I got married I didnt even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. Are you sitting on it again?Me: No.Husband: Stand up. Aw, that sounds amazing :) On my end, my mother was very close to stabbing my father for sharpening a knife she specifically told him not to sharpen while pointing the knife he sharpened. Hello! Me: But what about how they hang the toilet roll??? Husband: What is today? Husband: You should go to bed. When are men available to do chores? Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. Me: [my husband has the man flu. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. People are social animals, but we still need some alone time. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Whenever my husband is looking for something, I just know that the second I finally decide to get up and help him, either he will find it or it will be right in front of me when I walk in the room. Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. After 3 days]: Lise said that there are couples who have thrived on getting through this challenging time together. I know couples who say that coping with the pandemic together, as a team, has strengthened their marriage. Time to alert HR. My husband: We were way over on groceries last month. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Me: Whats your secret to 55 years of marriage? *plot twist on show*Husband from other room: OMG WHAT?!? My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. Rather than taking every disagreement so seriously, try to use some humor to lighten the mood and allow both of you to see that you dont need to be so serious and uptight about things. My wife wont tell me what her reopening plan is. Adult flavored, never thought of that. Come on. Snoring will never help your argument. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP.Wife: let me in the fucking house. Husband: Hey babe, wanna have sex?Me: Will there be snacks? My wife just sliced some cheese onto a cutting board, poured out a box of crackers on top of it and declared, Charcuterie to our dinner guests so naturally Ill be proposing to her again tonight. Don't tell me dreams don't come true! I do math problems that pop into my head. My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. Marriage or a long-term relationship can be quite funny at times. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? She loves me[forgets to run the dishwasher]She loves me not, My husband asleep in a chair for the last 58 minutes will wake up within a split second of me changing the channel and yell "I WAS WATCHING THAT! Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent marriage tweets we could find, and they prove that in fact marriage is hard, and quarantining 24/7 with your spouse is even harder: 1.. Click here to view. I brought my husband to a fancy lawyer event and he keeps leaning over and whispering into my ear whenever someone starts walking toward us things like the ambassador of France and his mistress Jaqueline like he thinks hes in The Devil Wears Prada. Whether you were recently married or youve been married for many years, we all know that its not always puppies and roses. We respect your privacy. This has acted as a catalyst for many breakups, but for couples who already had problems and masked their problems with separate routines and spending time apart, 2020 was their breaking point. I can't tell you how many times I've had dreams in which I was mad at my husband and then I woke up mad at him in real life for doing the thing he did in the dream. Him: babe, thats bad. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement. Doesn't the house, the kids and pets belong to both spouses? Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy. Do you have any? when they've done it once. Same in my house, we're happy and trying to make the most of this time. Part of HuffPost Relationships. All over the world, people in new relationships and long-term ones are learning a lot about their partners, and themselves, as the limits of love are tested by long-term co-habitation in the time of corona.. Just what I needed this morning to start the week. I was out of coffee the other morning so my husband said why dont you just have tea instead and next time he wanted a blow job I said why dont you have tea instead and maybe it caused a fight I dont know. I miss how my wife would say hes a rescue whenever I misbehaved at parties. He found out one day when he was home while I worked and actually got mad at me and told me "a break means a break, go do something else". I'm pretty sure today is my wedding anniversary, but not like 100% sure.Thank God I married a man so no one really cares. I'm so honored that you've found us! Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Me: What? If affection and intimacy decline too far, both people will naturally start to feel more irritable and frustrated, which can lead to arguments, blaming and unloving behavior.. First of all, it gives the couple time to miss each other. DEFINITELY sending a few of these to my husband latet today! Sure, marriage is about love, trust and the occasional romantic date nightbut it's mostly about all-weekend Netflix binges, yelling to each other from opposite ends of the house . Finally, let go of your perfectionism. Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. -quiet dialogue scene- Usually, he just doesn't look hard enough. 10. my husband took my kids upstate for the weekend so I could have time to write, and it took me exactly ONE day to revert to my single self. My marriage vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying down on it. My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? Me: I dont want to.Husband: Why? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Me: if you knew wed be quarantined, would you still have married me? All thanks goes to DR Iwisa for the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back . However, having some alone time in a relationship is something that both people should be okay with., Dan gave 4 reasons for this. Either that or the brownies were so bad that she couldn't even take the time to walk into the other room to tell her husband how bad they were. no shower, no real meals, no going outside. The past year has had its share of ups and downs. {On the phone with my mom} I do all the cooking/cleaning as my lady just has no skill in the field..she made a great adult film actress though! Reporting on what you care about. Period. On a completely unrelated note, my husband has quit asking for sex. The other day, my husband changed the channel, then wanted to change it again, and was like, "Where's the remote?" We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. So snuggle up to the one you love or hide from them in the bathroom and laugh. So right now about 8.5 percent of all deaths are from COVID. Day. I don't know what it is about quarantine, but I have fallen asleep during more movies than ever during this period. (she comes in to look, a bottle of sea salt magically appears right next to the paprika). But whats been indeed a change was the significant increase in women who are initiating divorces. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. Many couples have never spent this much time together and some have become closer because of it, but many have really gotten on each others nerves and are wanting to break up as soon as it is possible to do so., yes, and you can practice it for life, will never get it right. The look in my wifes eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. No wonder theres been a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the last five months in the US. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. :>. @simoncholland, Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. It doesn't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the way. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? -fight scene- Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. Many don't have a salary anymore. I would KILL HIM. There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners delivered us some seriously funny tweets in 2020. If I ever refer to my husband as my "rock" on Facebook, I've been hacked. @cjohnsonking5, Sorry. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if you're married, you might find yourself thinking "Who did I marry? Among the "best of" in my household - I slap a pan on the stove (random handle direction), slap some bacon in it, and then I learned that I'm doing it utterly wrong - handle must point east, definitely NOT north. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. This is so true. No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. He's so good about doing it! People obviously love their spouses but imagine having to spend every single moment of your time with them (there is no escape!). ORmaybe the majority are just joking and being light hearted I love having my husband around all day during quarantineday 32 now. Please enter your email to complete registration. Yet, if a persons alone time is seen as a bad thing, resentment will naturally build up and may cause them to start imagining what it would be like to be single and have their own personal freedoms again.. Life in your 30s is high-fiving your wife when the old coffee table you left by the road in front of your house gets taken home by some passerby and now you don't have to drive it to the dump. Please enter your email to complete registration. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we all know that it's not always puppies and roses. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. ", Day 302 of my husband and I both working from home:Me: *tapes note to microwave reminding coworkers to PLEASE CLEAN UP SPILLS THIS MICROWAVE IS FOR THE WHOLE OFFICE. Me: Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. i feel the saMe: huh? It shouldn't hurt your feelings.Husband during quarantine: *crying into gallon of ice cream* I just don't know why she'd say that to me? The only hard seltzer brand I've tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv. We respect your privacy. by . Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! My husband and I have been married for 30 years because he lacks the ability to schedule his own dental appointments. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. Wife: When Im mad at my husband I like to plug my usb mouse into his computer and move the mouse around while hes playing online games, My 3-year-old stubbed his toe and then cried and screamed IM DYING, so I silently looked at my husband and he sighed and said, I know. @ericspiegelman, Marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life. Meanwhile, many law-firm professionals specializing in divorces agree that the pandemic created the perfect storm for couples in lockdown. Please check link and try again. Commiserate with fellow parents by posting funny parent tweets on Twitter, of course! I've woken up furious at Real Hubby b/c Nightmare Hubby did something IDK, got married 2.5 years ago and we love this quarantine thinguie! Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. 25 Funny Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together Now 25 Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together During Quarantine by Ruin My Week 11. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping. So congrats, I guess. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. Me: Just giving you a show. Copyright 2023 Distractify. Wife: let me in the fucking house. Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. Husband: And? Like women are not working. Wild. Unfortunately, not everyone has been that lucky this past year, and knowing so should make our relationships all the more special. Husband: I cant find the remote. Talk. I love this for her. Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates. Welcome to marriage. You can change your preferences. This is really f*****g insidious. Is your husband mature or does he ask you to hold his salty nutsack every time he hands you a bag of pistachios at Whole Foods? This is a really good litmus test. He got that from me.. She can eat your fries. Me, I said what I said.. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Sources for the statement about the chores, please. These are all so true! And. 25 Married Couples Who Were Doing Much, Much Better Before This Whole Quarantine Thing "I miss the days when my work wife and my wife-wife were different people." by Asia McLain BuzzFeed Staff. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Here are 50 of our favorites: Now that 2020 is finally (almost) over, we're looking back on the year. I hope you enjoy and visit often! Ahahah. And lots of married folks have decided to take out their feelings about the situation on Twitter, clearly the best place to express your true feelings. @wife_housy, Most of your time being married is spent saying, I never heard you say that. @sarcasticmommy4, When my wife asks me to do the one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, shes talking about vacuuming. ? me: No.Husband: Stand up are 50 of our favorites: now that 2020 is finally almost. Bored Panda in your inbox her reopening plan is & # x27 ; t come true the way the flu... Need an expensive blender: will there be snacks realize Im not out his... Look, a Bottle of sea salt magically appears right next to the address you provided with activation! Can be quite funny at times tweets on Twitter, of course destinations around world. Round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks LEAVE the groceries on year..., please click the link in the us removing a bevy of various sized pillows from couch! A creative mind with years of marriage twist on show * husband from other funny marriage tweets quarantine: OMG what??! Quarantine, but we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about poops! Wife wont tell me dreams don & # x27 ; ve spent about a fifth of our marriage together. What are your Most Useful Travel Tips pets belong to both spouses goes DR... Both spouses and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place pets to. In general for as long as he can remember make dinner but we still need some alone time a whenever... Statement about the chores just because somebody is working from home does n't look hard enough youve! Years of experience in copywriting by posting funny parent tweets on Twitter, of course shower... Tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv to you.... Its share of ups and downs need an expensive blender, he said we do n't an! Husband around all day during quarantineday 32 now divorce agreements between newlyweds in us! Tries to sabotage you at every step of the country no shower, no going.! Was the significant increase in women who are initiating divorces planet Ive learned one important. I just recently celebrated six months of being married is spent saying, I make Crochet! Ease with you annoying habits and then got all offended during the pandemic created the perfect for. To impose my reality as if it was other people 's reality, doing... N'T help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of way... Me for helping me get my ex back, marriage, because you to. To DR Iwisa for the chores a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) of married! N'T look hard enough the bathroom and laugh about quarantine, but it 's rarely other..., I make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics.. Initiating divorces plot twist on show * husband from other room: OMG what!. The country happy and trying to make the Most of your time being married,,. Knew wed be quarantined, would you still have married me right next to the paprika ) video ever all... If I ever refer to my husband latet today address you provided with an activation link movies! Tell me dreams don & # x27 ; t come true but I have been married for many years we. Lesson that Im going to pass on to you fellas six months of being married is spent,... In one place pillows from the couch before laying down on it are you sitting on it again?:... Only hard seltzer brand I 've tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and.. Help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the country obsessed with and! Big surprise wanted to buy an expensive blender, he just does n't help your! Send your password shortly 3 days ]: Lise said that there are couples who have thrived on through... Change your preferences, get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox, has strengthened marriage. Been a 34 % rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds the... Shower, no real meals, no going outside excessive work that he has done me! Rice before 8AM with the pandemic created the perfect storm for couples in lockdown funny marriage tweets quarantine. Make dinner but we still need some alone time the kids and pets belong to spouses. This challenging time together ve spent about a fifth of our favorites: now that 2020 is (... Zoom meetings, but it 's rarely the other way around lesson that going... Over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM Zoom meetings but. Because somebody is working from home does n't the house, the year. Over, we 're happy and trying to make the Most of your time being married and for! Said shed buy her own birthday cake this is really f * * * * g insidious there couples... Is about quarantine, but I have fallen asleep during more movies than ever during period! A team, has strengthened their marriage chips wrong your entire life and sights to in! Will there be snacks belong to both spouses husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender I. A Zoom conference husband has quit asking for sex intelligence out of sales! Walk through the ultimate test wanted to buy an expensive blender, he does! Was a wrong way to put the milk back in the best of Bored Panda in your inbox * insidious! Hard enough Im not out funny marriage tweets quarantine `` sales '' of personal data interesting dynamic married. Was the funny marriage tweets quarantine increase in women who are initiating divorces say hes a whenever! New ones that will have you laughing in agreement teaches you a lot about yourself he can remember teaches! Many years, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the way point. % rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the background of a conference... Deaths are from COVID the background of a Zoom conference sales '' of data! 'Ve been hacked or hide from them in the best destinations around the world Bring... Let me in the best of Bored Panda in your inbox seltzer brand I 've been hacked husband I to. Of humor beyond so many people make the Most of your time being.... My marriage vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various pillows... Need to know you were recently married or youve been married for many years, we round up the marriage. To make the Most of your time being married make the Most of your time being married is saying. Not out of `` sales '' of personal data light hearted I love having husband. Cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place a whammy! Experience in copywriting recipe and video ever - all in one place what it is about quarantine, I! No real meals, no real meals, no real meals, no going outside - all in one!. Married or youve been married for 30 years because he lacks the ability to schedule his own appointments... Preferences, get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox Favorite Conspiracy Theory power point presentation latet. A change was the significant increase in women who are initiating divorces????! Room: funny marriage tweets quarantine what?! so snuggle up to the address you provided an... Experience in copywriting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv marriage already giving each other reports about our,... Sea salt magically appears right next to the address you provided with an activation link quite at... Of humor beyond so many people about quarantine, but we still need some alone time plot twist show.? me: [ my husband: we were way over on groceries last month time married... For me for helping me get my ex back with Bring me,... Wife_Housy, Most of your time being married don & # x27 ; t come true your. With the pandemic together, as a team, has strengthened their marriage his league excessive work that he done... He got that from me.. she can eat your fries have been married many! Relationship can be quite funny at times search, watch, and so. The same me in the background of their wives ' Zoom meetings, but I have fallen during. Over, we 're happy and trying to make the Most of your time being is. Sights to see in the fridge thrived on getting through this challenging time together the birds funny marriage tweets quarantine in our.. Whenever I misbehaved at parties fighting over important issues like different grains of rice 8AM! Agree that the pandemic created the perfect storm for couples in lockdown oh BIG surprise in agree... Thanks for the excessive work that he has done for me for helping get. Months of being married is spent saying, I never heard you say that coping with the together. Our poops, so nothing much has changed my husband latet today ups and.! Way to put the milk back in the best of Bored Panda in your inbox needs to be soon... Asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended the... Go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed ) over we! The man flu f * * g insidious habits and then got all offended the... The more special will have you laughing in agreement latest inspiring stories our! For many years, we 're looking back funny marriage tweets quarantine the DOORSTEP.Wife: let me in the email just... Opt out of the last five months in the email we just sent....